Lair Sitting
by IamDragonFury
Summary: Fionna and Cake look after Marshall Lee's lair while he's gone for the day and try their best to keep the place in one piece, all while at the mercy of his vicious cat, Schwabelle.
1. Chapter 1

Lair Sitting

Chapter 1

I thought about this idea, and thought "Why not?"

* * *

Fionna and Cake made their way over to Marshall Lee's house.

Fionna ran up to the door and started pounding on it like always.

"MARSHALL! MAR-SHALLLLLLL LEEEEE!" she called.

"What?" Marshall called back from inside the house.

"Let us in." Fionna said.

"It's open." the vampire boy stated.

Fionna opened the door.

Marshall Lee was in his Living Room with his Axe-Bass.

"What are you doing?" Fionna wondered.

"Getting ready to leave." Marshall said.

"Where ya' goin'?" Cake asked.

"Eh, they want me to play at some festivity in the Breakfast Kingdom." Marshall Lee informed.

"Oh." Fionna said.

"Before I go I am going to call Marceline and ask that she make sure my house stays in one piece while I'm gone." the Vampire King said.

He reached for his phone, but Fionna grabbed.

"Y-You don't need to call_ her_," Fionna affirmed, "we'll do it."

"I don't think that would be a very good idea." the vampire boy stated.

"We've taken care of peoples' houses before," Fionna attested, "we've even taken care of castles."

"I just think that the best person to look after a vampire's lair is another vampire." Marshall Lee said, "Plus I like this place clean, also...my cat Schwabelle is..."

"Oh, we can take care of a cat," Fionna assured, "Cake is a cat."

"I have a way with words with other cats." Cake stated.

"So you go, and we'll stay here," the human girl voiced, "it's just for the day, right?"

"Yeah, though we all know a lot can happen in one day." Marshall said.

He looked at his watch.

"Oh well, I have to go now." Marshall Lee sighed.

He headed for the door.

"Also, try to avoid my basement." Marshall instructed.

"Bye, and don't worry," Fionna said as he left, "this place is in good hands."

Fionna shut and locked the door.

"I don't know why he's worried," Fionna said, looking at Cake, "we can take care of a house."

Suddenly, they heard angry growling.

They turned around and saw Marshall Lee's black cat, Schwabelle, growling at them in attack mode.

Fionna and Cake backed against the wall tensely.

"Eeh...nice kitty." Fionna squeaked.

* * *

I don't know, I just thought if Jake was a male dog whose genderswap is a female cat with a different color, then I could do the same thing for Marceline's dog by making his genderswap a female kitty with a different color as well, the difference here is that I have a picture on DA where the cat is gray, but here it is black.


	2. Chapter 2

Lair Sitting

Chapter 2

Moving on.

* * *

Fionna and Cake were still standing against the wall as Marshall's cat continued hissing at them.

"Ha...hi Schwabelle," Fionna said meekly, "we're not strangers."

The cat let out a loud meow.

"Say something to it, Cake." Fionna suggested.

Cake hesitantly stepped in front of the other cat.

"Um...what up?" Cake uttered.

Schwabelle snarled angrily, the presence of another cat in her home making her feel even more hostile.

"I have no intention of taking over your territory," Cake told the other cat, "nor does my friend have any intention of taking over your master's lair."

Schwabelle swiped her claws at Cake, removing some of the fur off of her belly.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Cake screamed.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Fionna screamed as well.

Schwabelle hissed loudly.

"Run!" Fionna said.

They ran and hid in the kitchen.

Schwabelle then lost interest and retreated into the other room.

Fionna and Cake looked into the living room through the kitchen window.

"Psycho kitty." Cake said.

"She's gone now," Fionna said, "we'll make it. It's only for a day."

"But he was right," Cake said, "a lot can happen in a day!"

~2 hours later~

Fionna and Cake were still hiding from Schwabelle in Marshall's kitchen.

They were now trying to fill the cat's food bowl.

"Do you see her?" Cake asked.

"No." Fionna said.

"Okay," Cake sighed, "I got this."

She emptied a can of special cat food into Schwabelle's food bowl.

Out of nowhere, Schwabelle plowed into her on her mad dash to her food.

"Ow!" Cake yelled, as Schwabelle stood on top of her, sinking her claws into the larger cat's back as she ate. "Ow..." Cake whined.

Just then the ohone rang.

Fionna answered it.

"Hello?" Fionna said as she listened to Cake whine.

"It's me." Marshall Lee said on the other end.

"Hey, how's the thing?" Fionna asked.

"Grod!" Cake uttered, as Schwabelle kneaded her back flesh with her claws.

"It's good, but how's my house?" Marshall asked.

"My goodness, it's only been two hours and already you're worried?" Fionna questioned.

"Well actually I called because I had to tell you something that I didn't get to tell you earlier." Marshall Lee said.

"I think she hit bone!" Cake whimpered.

Fionna cringed.

"What was that that you wanted to tell me?" Fionna asked Marshall.

"I had forgotten until now, Schwabelle was supposed to get her bath today." the Vampire King informed.

Fionna flinched.

"B-B-Bath?" she replied.

"Well if you're not up to it, I could always call..." Marshall responded.

"I don't need Marceline!" Fionna proclaimed, "That cat will get bathed, I promise!"

"Okay then." Marshall said.

"Yeah, you just do your thing, and we'll overpower...I mean...take care of the cat." Fionna voiced.

"All right, bye then." Marshall Lee replied.

"Bye." Fionna said.

Fionna hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen, where Cake was lying on the ground in the fetal position.

"Where's the cat?" the human girl asked.

"Up there." Cake said, pointing at the top of the fridge.

"Well help me get her down," Fionna told Cake, "we have to give her a...b-bath."

* * *

I have a cat who's about as neutral as me, she'll be cuddly at one moment and bitey the next.

Cats are easier to take care of than dogs, but they can be mean.


	3. Chapter 3

Lair Sitting

Chapter 3

And we continue.

* * *

Fionna and Cake were trying to get Schwabelle down from the top of the refridgerator to give her a bath.

The cat was sitting on top of the fridge, looking down at the human girl and the other cat, snarling menacingly.

"Here kitty kitty," Fionna said nervously, "it's bath time."

Schwabelle hissed at her.

"Reach up there and get her, Cake." Fionna suggested.

"I'm not reaching up there," Cake replied, "I'd prefer to keep my paws."

"We have to get that cat_ down,_" Fionna said, "lift me up there."

"You sure about that?" Cake asked.

"Just do it." Fionna insisted.

Cake wrapped her arm around Fionna and lifted her up to the top of the fridge.

"Now," Fionna said firmly, "come here, kitty!"

When she reached her arms out, Schwabelle jumped at her with her claws. Both Fionna and Cake screamed and Cake dropped Fionna.

"If that cat weren't already dead I'd kill it!" Fionna uttered.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Hello?" a familiar voice called.

"Marceline?" the duo responded.

Fionna opened the door and let the Vampire Queen in.

"What are you doing here?" Fionna asked.

"Our Vampire King called me and told me to come over and help you guys out." Marceline said.

Fionna became annoyed.

"That's not necessary," Fionna said as coolly as she could, "we have it under control."

"Just let her help," Cake exasperated, "we have made no progress with that cat!"

"Yeah, just tell her that." Fionna groaned.

"Where's the cat?" Marceline asked.

"Fridge." Fionna sighed.

Marceline floated over to the refrigerator.

"Here kitty kitty." she called softly.

The cat meowed docilely and jumped down into Marceline's arms.

Fionna and Cake looked on in shock as Marceline held Schwabelle, the cat purring contently as the Vampire Queen pet it and rubbed its belly.

"Stupid, choosy cat." Fionna muttered.

Moments later, Fionna and Cake watched as Marceline scrubbed the cat down in the bathtub, the cat not growling or scratching in protest.

"With some duct tape, oven mits, a long stick, and a sponge I coulda done that eventually." Fionna said grudgingly.

* * *

Animals can be choosy, I know, I've encountered choosy animals.


	4. Chapter 4

Lair Sitting

Chapter 4

More Stuff.

* * *

Marceline finished giving the cat, Schwabelle, a bath.

Now, Fionna and Cake were watching as Marceline dried the cat with a blow drier.

"Aww, good kitty." Marceline said, moving the blow drier side to side as she dried the cat's fur.

"Good kitty?" Fionna muttered, "Say that to my scratch marks."

Marceline held up the cat.

"Cat's clean." she said.

"Cool," Fionna replied, "so does that mean you're leaving now?"

"Nah, I think I'll stick around for a little while." Marceline said.

"Oh." Fionna replied flatly.

"Don't worry," Marceline said, "I'll just worry about the cat."

"Speaking of pets," Fionna asked, "don't you have a dog at home?"

"Yeah," Marceline said, "but Finn and Jake are watching him right now."

"Is the dog good with them?" Fionna asked.

"As far as I know." Marceline said.

Meanwhile at Marceline's house, Finn and Jake were trapped on Marceline's kitchen table as they tried to ward off her angry poodle.

Marceline sat on the couch with Scwabelle.

"What do we do now?" Fionna wondered.

"Let's look around this house." Cake said quietly.

"Okay," Fionna said, "but we leave everything where it was."

"Right." Cake said.

They went up to the second floor of the house, which was where Marshall's bedroom was.

"He keeps this place surprisingly well kept." Cake said.

"Well yeah," Fionna said, "like anyone else, he tries to keep his home inhabitable."

Cake pressed her paws down on Marshall Lee's bed.

"Hey, this feels surprisingly soft." Cake stated.

Cake jumped onto the bed.

"Ooh!" Cake squealed.

"What is it?" Fionna asked.

She found Cake laying on Marshall's bed.

"Mmm," Cake sighed, "this ain't like the couch, this is a quality mattress, so soft, cushy, and form fitting. Like laying on bag of pudding."

"Cake get off the bed," Fionna said, "he'll know you were on it."

"Just feel it, oh Grod it's so nice." Cake stated.

Fionna pressed her hands down on the bed.

"It is pretty squishy..." Fionna said, climbing onto the mattress, "but I've felt..."

When she lay flat on the mattress, she felt her body sink in and the mattress felt somewhat like a big pile of silk.

"Oh my g..." Fionna sighed.

"I know." Cake said, rolling around on the mattress.

"Don't do that," Fionna said, in a more relaxed tone, "you'll get your fur all over it."

"Oh, it'll come off." Cake said, all curled up at the foot of the bed.

She yawned, "Oh, this bed is making me a little..."

Then she fell asleep and immediately started snoring.

"Cake," Fionna said, trying to get the cat's attention, "Cake?"

Then she yawned too, "Maybe a quick nap wouldn't hurt."

Then she fell asleep as well.

* * *

By this point, I'm just making it up as I go along.

Oh well, this isn't like my real big fics that I care a lot about.

This will have like...two more chapters.


	5. Chapter 5

Lair Sitting

Chapter 5

More stuff.

* * *

Fionna and Cake were still napping on Marshall Lee's bed.

Soon, Fionna woke up and remembered where they were.

"Cake!" Fionna said.

Cake was asleep at the foot of the bed.

"Cake, wake up!" Fionna urged, shaking the sleeping feline.

Cake opened her eyes.

"We fell asleep on the bed!" Fionna said frantically.

"How long were we sleeping?" Cake wondered.

Fionna looked at the clock.

"Nah! We've been out for two hours!" Fionna uttered.

"Oh, stupid quality mattress!" Cake groaned.

The returned to the living room and found Marceline gone.

"Where's Marceline?" Fionna wondered.

"...Where's the cat?" Cake asked gravely.

Just then, they heard angry growling.

The two turned around to find Schwabelle looking at them furiously, her fangs showing, her ears back, and her fur all frizzed out.

"Down kitty," Fionna said tensely, "nice kitty, pretty kitty."

Schwabelle let out a vicious yowl.

"Oh Mah Grod, Cake, run!" Fionna yelled.

The two ran from the cat, hurrying upstairs and taking cover in Marshall Lee's bathroom while the cat violently scratched at the door.

Cake and Fionna jamped into the bath tub and pulled the shower curtain back.

"Oh, how did we get into this?" Fionna whined.

"Because you're a pining, admirer." Cake stated flatly.

* * *

At most, there'll be two more chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

Lair Sitting

Chpater 6

More Stuff.

* * *

Schwabelle was sitting outside Marshall Lee's bathroom door, waiting for Fionna and Cake to exit.

At that moment, the two were still keeping themselves locked in the bathroom to avoid the wrath of the psycho kitty.

By this point, Fionna and Cake were both bored and tired.

"Is she still out there?" Cake asked.

"I'll check." Fionna replied.

Fionna tapped on the bathroom door and immediately afterward heard the cat snarl and scratch the door.

"Yeah, she's still there." the human girl sighed.

"It would've been nice if Marshall had informed us ahead of time that his cat was psychopathic." Cake said.

"I think he did try to tell us that, but we didn't let him." Fionna said.

"_You _didn't let him." Cake said in return.

"Let it go." Fionna said flatly.

"How much longer do we have to stay in here?" Cake wondered.

"We can't leave as long as that cat is still out there." Fionna said.

Cake stretched up to Marshall Lee's bathroom sink and opened his medicine cabinet.

"What are you doing?" Fionna questioned.

"Looking for something that'll help us with our cat problem." Cake answered.

She started looking through the contents of the cabinet.

"Let's see tooth paste, floss, oh man...look at these weird vampire medicines." Cake voiced.

"Cake, you shouldn't go through his stuff." Fionna said firmly.

"Look at this." Cake said, pulling a bottle of strange goo out of the cabinet.

She read the label.

Which read: "Wild rose/rose liniment, if contact is made with roses of any kind apply to the infected area..."

"Oh, creepy." Cake groaned.

"Put it back!" Fionna yelled.

Cake put the stuff back in the cabinet.

"Oh! I found something useful." Cake affirmed.

"What is it?" Fionna asked.

"Cat tranquilizers chewies." Cake said, holding up the box.

"I don't know, that seems a little extreme." Fionna said.

"Is the cats till out there?" Cake inquired.

Fionna unlocked the door and pushed it open not even an inch, suddenly the cat forced its paw through the door, growling and flailing it's paw around to scratch anything it could reach.

Fionna and Cake screamed, Fionna used her foot to back the cat's paw out.

She shut and locked the door again.

Schwabelle's paws could be seen clawing their was through the gap at the bottom of the door.

"Drug the cat!" Fionna uttered.

"Got it." Cake said.

She pulled one of the chewies out of the package.

"Oh wow," Cake said surprised, "they got a strong fish smell to them."

"Slide it under the door, Cake." Fionna instructed, getting on her hands and knees.

Cake got on all fours and carefully slid the Chewy Tranq toward the gap at the bottom of the door.

"Oh Schwabelle." Cake called casually.

"Here kitty kitty," Fionna said innocently, "take the treat."

Schwabelle yowled and clawed the chewy, making the two females jump.

They listened at the door, they heard Schwabelle purring as she ate the tranquilizer.

"Now what?" Cake wondered.

"We wait." Fionna said.

* * *

Not much longer.

I'm not 100% sure if there actually are tranquilizers for cats, but I just felt like putting them in the story.


	7. Chapter 7

Lair Sitting

Chapter 7

Moving on.

* * *

Fionna and Cake were still sitting in Marshall Lee's bathroom, waiting for Schwabelle's tranquilizer to take affect.

By now they were both very bored.

"Is it safe yet?" Cake asked.

"I'll check." Fionna sighed.

Fionna opened the door part way and found Schwabelle sleeping on the ground.

"Ah," Fionna sighed, "she's out."

"Thank quadruple G." Cake said.

Finally, they were able to leave the bathroom.

Fionna lifted the cat up off of the ground.

"She's kinda cute when she's not trying to claw our eyes out." the human girl stated.

Just then they heard the door open.

"I'm back." Marceline called.

Fionna and Cake ran to the living room.

"Where did _you _go?" Fionna questioned.

"I had to go to my house quickly because Finn and Jake were being tormented by my dog." Marceline said.

"Well we had to deal with this cat!" Fionna affirmed.

"How did you get her without getting mauled?" Marceline asked.

"We had to feed her a cat tranquilizer." Cake said.

"Oh," Marceline replied, "you know those things only last for five minutes for supernatural pets, right?"

"Huh?" Fionna responded.

Suddenly the cat started growling.

Fionna looked down and realized the the tranq had already worn off.

"Oh sh-" Fionna responded.

Then the cat started clawing at her bunny hat.

"No!" Fionna squealed, "Cake, get her off!"

Cake grabbed the cat with her stretchy arm and tried to get the cat off of the human girl.

"Take off the hat." Marceline instructed.

"I don't wanna!" Fionna replied.

"Just do it before you lose your eyes." Marceline affirmed.

Fionna reluctantly pulled of her bunny hat, making her hair fall down to her hips.

"Fine," Fionna huffed, "I have more at home anyway."

Now Schwabelle tried to attack Cake; Cake ran to the kitchen squeezing the crazy cat in her arms, then she opened a cabinet and shut the cat in it.

"I got it!" Cake uttered, holding up her scratched up stretchy arms.

Just then, Marshall Lee came through the front door.

"That was the worst concert ever." he voiced.

"Hi, Marshy," Fionna said innocently, "how was your thing?"

"Sucked," Marshall Lee replied, "no one told me that the Breakfast People knew how to riot like that."

"I though you like riots." Fionna said.

"It's only fun you start them yourself." Marshall Lee stated.

"That is so true." Marceline replied.

"On a completely different note," Marshall Lee asked, "why are their scratch marks everywhere? Fionna, where is your hat? And where is my cat?"

"My response is," Fionna responded, "WHY DO YOU OWN A SLAUGHTEROUS CAT!?"

"I tried to warn you, but no one likes to listen to me." Marshall Lee said.

Marceline opened the kitchen cabinet, releasing the cat.

Schwabelle ran to the living room.

"Oh Grod!" Fionna cried, "It's free!"

The demonic cat ran past them and jumped into Marshall's arms.

"Oh, there you are." he said, petting the cat who purred like a docile little kitten.

"Of course." Fionna responded.

"Anyway," Marceline said, "I have to go relieve two heroes of their own pet sitting duties."

Then she left.

"So, I guess we should probably be leaving too," Cake said, "we got a computer to feed."

As they were leaving, Fionna turned back once.

"Also," Fionna said, "it's probably no big deal, but if you happen to get into your medicine cabinet later, and you find that everything is not where you had last left it...it's all Cake's fault. Just thought I'd point that out."

Marshall Lee looked on strangely while still holding his cat.

"Later." Fionna said.

Then she left to catch up with Cake.

* * *

Not an exciting ending, but I got other stuff to get done right now, so something had to end.


End file.
